Sheriff Arpeggio and the Lone Truther sipped their coffee. Not $4.00 a cup Starbucks coffee either, just good cowboy coffee boiled over the fire with the grounds settled by a good dash of cold water in the pot.
The Lone Truther studied the email about illegal immigrants again. “Sheriff, this email alleges that, ‘95% of warrants for murder in Los Angeles and of people on the most wanted list in Los Angeles are illegal aliens.’”
“Bah. LAPD doesn’t keep that kind of data. Somebody made that up. Besides, LAPD clears 2/3rds of its homicide cases and more than 1/3 of the remainder are fugitives who are later convicted in other countries. That one didn’t worry me at all.”
“The Sheriff is right, “ added Tonto. “I’m looking at the LA most wanted list right now.”
“Plus, said the Sheriff, “that email claims that nearly 35% of all inmates in California detention centers are Mexican nationals here illegally. It’s 23% in Los Angeles jails and it includes all illegal aliens including a bunch from Asia.”
“What is next?” asked Tonto.
“Over 300,000 illegal aliens in Los Angeles County are living in garages.”
“Oh, that’s fine. I wonder why the people of Los Angeles haven’t noticed all those people in their garages. Do you or LAPD get many calls about that Sheriff?”
“Hardly any.”
“I thought so,” said the Lone Truther. “Here’s one for you to look up Tonto. It says, ‘The FBI reports half of all gang members in Los Angeles are most likely illegal aliens from south of the border.’”
“Kemo Sabe, that was not even the FBI. It was a study by California authorities 13 years ago about one gang in cahoots with Mexican drug runners.”
The Lone Ranger grimaced as he read the next one. “21 radio stations in L. A. are Spanish speaking. What’s a radio station?”
“We got 90 some odd radio stations in LA,” said Sheriff Arpeggio. “And the First Amendment. Don’t know why that is relevant to anything.”
“But this email also says you got 5.1 million people who speak English and 3.9 million who speak Spanish.”
Tonto chuckled. “Yeah and most of the 3.9 million who speak Spanish also speak English. I wonder how many of the 5.1 million who speak English can speak a word of Spanish. Besides, the numbers don’t add up Sheriff. What are the other one million people speaking?”
The Lone Truther chimed in. “We have to remember not to believe everything we read. It says this was all in the Los Angeles Times.”
“But it wasn’t,” said Tonto. “It was from all over the place and was written by somebody who thinks every Hispanic is an illegal alien which will come as quite a shock to the 45 Million who are here legally. Heck, over in New Mexico 44% of their population is Hispanic and a lot of those families have been here for 400 years!”
"Passed by here the Governor Don Juan de Onate, from the discovery of the Sea of the South on the 16th of April, 1605.
“What about this last one?” asked the Sheriff. “Less than 2% of illegal aliens are picking our crops, but 29% are on welfare. Over 70% of the United States ‘ annual population growth (and over 90% of California , Florida , and New York ) results from immigration.”
The Lone Truther scratched his head. “That’s impossible. Illegal aliens can’t get welfare. And how does he know that less than 2% of illegals are picking our crops? I guess the rest are living in garages in Los Angeles, making babies, murdering their landlords and driving to their white-collar jobs in Santa Monica?”
The Sheriff said, “Well this sure will help. Now I can tell my citizens not to worry so much.”
San Francisco de Assisi Mission Church, Ranchos de Taos
“Sheriff, this whole thing is a pack of lies. Whoever wrote it is ignorant, a racist, or a liar or all three. Tell em that. And tell them to take a breath. Except for Tonto and his people, we’re all immigrants here. Remind them that more than a million Hispanics are veterans of the United States Armed Forces!”
The Lone Truther put more wood on the fire. “Why don’t you stay for dinner, Sheriff?”
“Don’t mind if I do. If your food is as good as your coffee it’ll be fine. What are you having?”
“Buffalo steak with sauteed mushrooms and some of Tonto’s special sun-dried tomatoes.”
____________________________
The data for these posts about “Just One State,” about illegal immigration came primarily from U.S. Census Bureau data. Various forms of the email have been floating around since at least 2002. Snopes dealt with the 2006 version but, as far as we can tell, has not updated its information since then. Specific Census Bureau data for Los Angeles County is here.
Statistics regarding illegal immigration came from the Department of Homeland Security.
__________________________
UPDATE
The Washington Post editorializes about Sheriff Joe Arpaio of Phoenix and his policies regarding illegal immigrants today. Any resemblance between the real Sheriff Arpaio of Phoenix and my Sheriff Arpeggio is, of course, purely coincidental.
Tags: illegal immigration, Immigration
The Golden State 
July 28, 2008 at 6:15 am |
ILLEGAL ALIENS can’t get welfare??? Then how do you explain this:
New statistics from the Department of Public Social Services reveal that illegal aliens and their families in Los AngelesCounty collected over $36 million in welfare and food stamp allocations in May 2008. These findings were announced by Los Angeles County Supervisor Michael D. Antonovich.
Twenty five percent of the all welfare and food stamps benefits is going directly to the children of illegal aliens. Illegals collected over $19 million in welfare assistance for May 2008 and over $16 million in monthly food stamp allocations, for a projected annual cost of $432 million.
“Illegal immigration continues to have a devastating impact on Los Angeles County taxpayers,” said Antonovich. “With $220 million for public safety, $400 million for healthcare, and $432 million in welfare allocations, the total cost for illegal immigrants to County taxpayers far exceeds $1 billion a year – not including the millions of dollars for education.”
September 9, 2009 at 8:05 pm |
You are insane. 25% of food stamps to illegals? I don’t live in LA but in SF and am on food stamps. I’ve been to the office a half dozen times waiting in long lines each time. I’ve never seen anyone who didn’t look like an American. Plus, believe, the documentation is clear and paperwork strictly followed regarding the law. If 25% of those on food stamps in LA are illegals then the problem isn’t the illegals, it’s the people running your office down there.
September 10, 2009 at 8:46 am
The Lone Truther agrees entirely. It is absurd to suggest that 25% of food stamps go to illegal aliens.
July 28, 2008 at 6:19 am |
[quote]95% of warrants for murder in Los Angeles are for illegal aliens.[un-quote]
This was not proved to be a hoax. Snopes could not disprove it as they said the information was from a variety of sources and could be open to some interpretation. It was not disproven. In fact, this figure was put into Congressional testimony by Heather MacDonald of the Manhattan Institute.
The entire paragraph that details this statement appears on page 77 of the Book, “The Immigration Solution” and in the City Journal article, “The Illegal Alien Crime Wave.” [quote]In Los Angeles, 95 percent of all outstanding warrants for homicide (which total 1,200 to 1,500) target illegal aliens. Up to two-thirds of all fugitive felony warrants (17,000) are for illegal aliens. The Illegal-Alien Crime Wave: City Journal, winter 2004 http://www.city-journal.org/html/14_1_the_illegal_alien.html%5B/quote%5D
July 28, 2008 at 9:25 am |
Thanks to zeezil for taking the time to comment. The comments are accurate, although Ms. MacDonald’s statistics may not be. Given the email’s frequent and, to my mind, unjustified conflation of all Hispanics with illegal immigrants, I hold to my suspicion that the murder arrest warrant statistic is not worthy of belief. (After looking at some of the pictures of the wanted felons on Los Angeles’ Most Wanted list, we can all agree that those are not people you’d invite over for dinner.)
Zeezil’s question about welfare pointed out something I failed to make clear in the post: Strictly speaking, illegal immigrants cannot get welfare. Their children can qualify, assuming they were born in the U.S. for AFDC benefits and food stamps. Supervisor Antonovich’s comments seem to me to omit a key factor: Los Angeles would still be spending money on public safety, public health, and welfare even if all the illegal immigrants were removed tomorrow. Probably it would be a lower sum but how much lower is as unknowable as the precise position of an quantum-state electron.
February 9, 2009 at 7:54 pm |
After reading your symphatic attempt at justification of an illegal, illegitimate influx of a parasitic and corrupt culture, it is safe to say you are a Mexican national. We, the American taxpayer will only tolerate this infantile, twisted truths, childish wordplay, and the blatant denial of the tremendous burden forced upon the American citizenry by a parasitic Mexican illegal population. I guess even when we pay the costs, your loyalty will always be with Mexico.
Fair weather friends I surmise…
Frets
Venice Beach, CA
February 12, 2009 at 12:55 pm |
Actually, no. I was born and raised in the United States and my forebears, as far as I know, all came from England or Scotland; one was an officer in Washington’s Revolutionary Army. That proves, I suppose, that even white people can be rational about immigrants from Mexico.
June 25, 2009 at 4:51 am
Yes and white people often lack the ability to think critically.
You must remember Frets Ward; it’s all about votes for Democrats. American interests are a hindrance to the global citizen.
November 7, 2009 at 7:49 pm |
look at houston texas every illegal has 5 to 6 anchor babies they are all on food stamps houston is invaded by illegal aliens who are all on food stamps, wic, medicaid and still asking what benefits they qualify for . every sick person with cancer from mexico is in houston texas that city needs to clean itself up! costing americans that work like me billions and billions every year! and now obama wants to cover illegal aliens to receive health care do you know what that is going to do to us it will break the bank. every illegal alien with a sick child will come here not to mention from south america. come to texas so you can see what is say
November 9, 2009 at 7:31 pm |
The Lone Truther finds it pretty amazing that “every illegal has 5 to 6 anchor babies.” Science tells us that men can’t give birth. The Lone Truther also reminds the commentor that nothing in the health care bills currently before Congress would provide health insurance for illegal aliens. The Lone Truther also notes that Mexico and all those countries in South America have their own health care systems, some of which rank higher than ours.
May 4, 2010 at 12:14 am |
That illegals use the ploy of anchor babies is indisputable. i used to have a quite a bit of sympathy for them and thus i know from personal experience this is true. i sold a mobile home to a family because i wanted to be nice, they later openly admitted that the daughters waited til they were pregnant to enter the united states so they would have a better chance of having the children here and thus being allowed to stay. they also had the babies on the taxpayer dime at hospitals here. later i found that they had erected tents behind the fence in their yard and were making quite a bit of money by acting as a way station for other illegals, i had second thoughts and asked them to leave they refused….I might add as i know the accusation may be made i was financially taking advantage of them that i was only charging them $100 a month to buy a 12,000$ mobile home, with NO INTEREST. At that time they had only paid a fraction off, although they initially promised theyd do it in large extra payments quickly as they were so ‘proud’ to have a home. I also suspected from the traffic they were dealing drugs. The Police and the immigration refused to even question them although immigration admitted they already knew they were there….I just was left feeling that my pity for these people had not only made me a sucker but left me with my butt hanging in the breeze as having aided and abeted them. you can bet ill never make that mistake again. They simply are exploiting us, not the other way around. as for the statistics from the LAPD, my guess is ordinarily you wouldnt believe the pronouncements of the LAPD, but in this case they fit your own argument. personally i dont believe them when they say they dont keep such figures…Im sure they do but dont admit it, just as they do many other things that might not be totally kosher but arent about to fess up to.