One day in the distant future this blog will be discovered by archaeologists. I don’t know whether they will stumble on a digital version or the hard copies, lovingly and reverently saved by my children, their children, and all my descendants. (Are you listening children?)
Future Archaeologist Discovering this Blog
But find it they will; it is unthinkable that my words will simply sink into the abyss of history. That imposes a heavy responsibility on me. I must write for the ages as well as you my current readers. If I write about ephemera like Hula Hoops, Beanie Babies, and Republicans, I risk those future scientists and historians not knowing what I’m talking about.
On the other hand, the business of predicting the future is hazardous. Will Brittany Spears live happily ever after? Will Dick Cheney get indicted for war crimes? Will GM survive? And what about Madonna? Will she get to adopt another baby?
These are weighty matters and I don’t have a clue how they will all turn out. And if I can’t even hazard a guess, how am I supposed to know what will interest some PhD student in a thousand years?
Besides sex, of course.
(Excuse me while I insert a photo for the future historians reading this.)
21st Century Blogger Having Sex
I do write a little about sex here from time to time, in the Viagra Blues category, but writing about sex everyday would get to be boring reading for you and who knows what sexual mores will be a thousand or a hundred thousand years hence. Beyond the certain knowledge that the Glen Canyon Dam will be gone and the Colorado River again flowing unvexed to the sea, how am I supposed to know what the future holds? That future student will be under a lot of pressure to publish or perish — I suppose that practice will last — and if I’m going to keep her interested, I’ve got to write about stuff that will still matter far in the distant future.
Humans, whatever their lives may be like in that distant time, will probably still be asking some of the same questions about life and death that we ask, but I have no special insight into metaphysics. And hallucinogenic drugs are not likely to be legalized in my life time so I probably won’t get to do a thorough study of alternative consciousness. Although Joe Klein over at Time Magazine has a good idea about that. (I would lower the age he suggests.)
Blogger as an Ass
Well, future historian, I’m sorry I’m not Shakespeare. Him I suppose you have heard of and read? If you’ve read this far into my blog, you deserve a break. May I suggest something light, say A Midsummers’ Night Dream? Or that mystery you’ve been reading. I bet mysteries are still being written. Take a break and go read that for awhile. Spoiler Alert: The butler did it.
But don’t forget to come back. I’ve got lots more good stuff to tell you in future posts!
